Sunday, March 10, 2013

Water porn


Not-so-subtle take on the matter.
There is a movement in the yoga studio I frequent that advises against drinking water in class. This is given that you've been practicing a while and that you come to class well hydrated. The idea is that...

1. Water is a distraction. Like wiping sweat or adjusting your ponytail.

2. You can't properly hydrate during a 90 minute class. It takes much longer for the cells in your body to reabsorb lost fluids. The best way to hydrate is to ingest fluids steadily throughout your day and to load up on fruits and veggies.

3. Your body is supposed to be busy breathing and focusing on asanas, not processing water.

Go ahead and chug a gallon bottle of water and do asanas on your belly. You might throw up.

Me? I like having my water bottle in class. I brought it with me for a while even after I stopped drinking it.

Why? Water porn. That's right. You've heard of food porn. Well, water porn is similar. Provocatively dripping with condensation... Your water bottle is such a tease! I'm attracted to your water. When I kept my water in the room, I was mentally unaffected by your water bottle. But now that I've weaned away from it I occasionally want to leap across your mat and steal a sip.

Worst placement of your water: towards the front of your mat, off to the side. Put your water here and I may reach over during savasana and take a swig. And backwash in it too.

Second worst placement of your water: At the bottom of my mat. When placed here, your water is out of your way. But my feet are spooning it during savasana. Don't worry, I heard it's good luck to rub your toes on someone else's water bottle.

Have I ever touched your water with my toes? No, not intentionally. I might next time. So it's probably best to just keep it close to the bottom of your own mat.